Buy Saga Food
Well now. Perhaps you are wondering why we unleashed hellish fire across your fields, salted the land, smashed your storehouses, executed your farmers, fishers, and hunters. It may confuse you that we would also poison your river and turn your well water to acid.
A very good question, with a more than reasonable answer.
You see, we needed to show you the folly in your masters ways before it's too late and true disaster strikes. This little exercise proves that your master is too incompetent to stave off locusts or summers fire. Your field workers, uneducated in the ways of bringing life back to land once ruined. And if your water should turn foul, you would have little choice but to die of thirst... Also, stocked supplies do run dry.
This is of course a terrible situation that threatens everyone. Your masters are ill equipped to deal with it, and so it's only a matter of time before this situation befalls upon you 'for real'. There's no need to worry however.
By purchasing our food and water at a rate of five to one, you are safe from these horrors and will be given a meal that's guaranteed to be free of pestilence and poison. Other's will offer you food for less, but they aren't to be trusted. That food almost always arrives tainted with a toxin that'll leave you writhing in agony for hours after consumption.
If all my subtlety hasn't gotten through yet, I have just one more thing to say... Buy my food, or this guy is going to hurt you.
If you want your name to be put up on the website, send some gold to Extortania with a note saying you're giving into the food demands and your name will appear on the list. The names will appear in order of most extorted to least extorted. You can also buy in proxy of other nations if you mention it. This makes it so you can donate for your alliance alt, or simply to poke fun at someone.